Ahhhhh… Gym Etiquette Please

December 21st, 2008

Ok..  This is one of the rare occasions where you get to here me complain.

There should be unwritten rules for going to a public gym.

  1. Cover thy body…  (if you’re not hot cover it up…if you think your hot ask someone you’ve never slept with to be sure.)   Hell if you are hot cover it up… it’s distracting…
    1. I’m a heavy guy..  I don’t go to the gym in short shorts and low cut tank tops .. no one wants to see that…  So why do others come to the gym with their stuff all hanging out…  ick…
  2. No perfume…  come on, some of us have to breath the air at the gym… when you come up beside us on the exercise machines smelling like someone pulled a prank on you and soaked your cloths in cheap perfume… it makes us sick..   One of these days I’m just going to turn an vomit in one of their faces .. straight up..
  3. If the guy on the machine appears to be watching something on the TV.  Its not ok to change it without asking.
  4. If the person next to you looks like they are trying to work out.. (have a sweat broken.. maybe even soaked …)   DON’T CHANGE THE ENVIRONMENT LIKE TURNING ON A HUGE FAN FACING HIM WITHOUT ASKING.    Again some day I’m just going to be at that point where I think I could hurl and the right person is going to be there..
  5. If a person has headphones on and is working their ass off …  don’t try to strike up a conversation … If they wanted to talk to you they’d turn off their music and approach you.   Take a hint.
  6. Check your ego a the door…  I see way to many people about to get hurt at the gym or getting hurt and wondering why..   YOUR NOT NEARLY AS STRONG AS THE NEXT GUY AND THAT’S OK..   work out with a little common sense and you’ll be amazed at how strong you become over time.
  7. Don’t ask other members questions about machines…  they really don’t know and will just lie to you so they don’t feel like complete idiots … if there isn’t information on the machine ask an employee of the gym..   They may not know either but at least you didn’t waste someones working out time trying to fill the void in your intelligence.
  8. Take care of your screaming kids…  The daycare facility at the gym is for your convenience.. just make sure its not to the inconvenience of everybody else at the gym.
  9. Wash / wipe down the machines when you done … no one wants to sit in your puddle of sweat.   Besides … this is how staph infections and other nasty stuff gets started in gyms.
  10. Work out or go home.   If the place is busy try to keep the chatter down or at least move away from the equipment when you decide to exercise the lip and jaw muscles …  This way the rest of us can get our workout in.

Rant complete….

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